I have done an interview with my 19 year old husband on what he has learned from being a teen dad, and what he has to say for other teen dads out there. This is what he has said.
The day my wife told me she was pregnant, I was excited and so happy. We had a talk in February 2020 about trying for a baby, we felt we both were ready and we have been together for almost 3 years. I knew she was the one I wanted to have children with, we were engaged at the time when we decided it was time to start a family. I already planned to marry her, we made plans a year before for our wedding and decided in 2020, we wanted a child.
I was excited as we were finally starting our family, but I have to admit, my wife’s pregnancy was not a pretty experience. At first she was normal, she was happy and didn’t devour our whole fridge. Yet… When she had her first appointment, I was not able to go due to covid. She had to go to her ultrasound alone and I missed the first look of my son in her stomach. I only got to see the pictures the lab technician took for her to take home.
When I first saw my baby in her, I couldn’t believe it. We actually were having a baby, I was becoming a dad. I was so excited and equally scared, also a bit hurt because I missed such an important event due to this virus. I actually missed hearing the heartbeat of my baby because of this virus. I had so much taken away from me and this was a problem for me not to be there with her. I, however, had another problem to face, my wife was becoming someone I didn’t know.
When my wife’s pregnancy progressed, she became more emotional. I am not talking about being sad, no she was angry. Extremely angry. She would have many outbursts and the things she said hurt me. I couldn’t believe the person she has become, I did not understand why she was so angry. She started eating a lot more, and when she had a craving for orange juice, (Yes, orange juice. Don’t ask me, I don’t know why it was orange juice. Be prepared for the weird cravings.) she would become really sad when she ran out. It was like walking on eggshells with her. I could make her extremely angry with anything and that is what scared me. But I knew deep down, it wasn’t her fault. Her body was literally growing my child in it, so she will be moody and go through a lot of emotions due to the extra hormones. I tried my absolute hardest to be more understanding, but let me tell you that is extremely difficult to do when she is moody and angry over the smallest things. But something happened that made it all the attitudes and angry outbursts worth it.
At 14 weeks pregnant, I got to feel my baby kick. I had to press down on her stomach, but I felt them. I couldn’t believe it, they were actually there. I felt them move and I knew they were growing and just, there. I can’t describe it, you would have to experience it to understand what I mean. It was amazing. (Wife here, he cried when he felt our baby kick. He didn’t want to admit it but yes he cried. He doesn’t want anyone to know he cries when he is happy and he gets really embarrassed).
I married my wife on July 21st, 2020. She was around 18 weeks at the time, her bump did not show in her wedding dress. She was beautiful and we had a beautiful ceremony. The day after our wedding, we went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee for our honeymoon. During our honeymoon, we were talking about how excited we were to see what gender our baby was on August 5th. I really wanted a son, but I was more than happy to have a daughter if that is what the gender is. We both have already decided from the start if it is a boy, his name will be Mason. If it was a girl, her name would be Felicity. Our baby started kicking more around this time and my wife was able to see the baby kick. When her 20 week appointment happened, that was the best thing I have ever seen.
The experience to see your child in the womb is incredible. It is almost like you can’t believe you are seeing them move, and just seeing them before they are even born. Even though it was a black and white screen with this little weird tiny blob rolling around, I thought it was precious. As much as I hate to say this, I cried during this appointment. After the lab technician saw what gender our baby was and could tell us, we were ready to know if we were having a boy or a girl.
Well, it was a boy. I have my son, my little son Mason was going to be in the world around December 30th, 2020. I held my wife’s hand and we both looked at each other crying and smiling under our masks. It was one of the happiest moments of our lives. I wish I could go back and watch it all again, it just felt so unreal and really excited me to see him.
As my wife progressed and was getting bigger, so was Mason. Mason started to kick my wife harder and put her out of work for the rest of her pregnancy in August. This has caused us financial issues, and we struggled to pay rent for our apartment. We had to have local people in need help us with our rent so we won’t get evicted. We struggled and I had to work two jobs until I finished school to become a firefighter. I was the one who was supporting us and it was stressful. With me working the long hours I was barely able to relax before I had to start my next shift. Not to mention, when I came home I had to walk on eggshells with my wife to not make her angry. This was so stressful for me to do. But, I had to think of my family and why I was doing this for them. I was still in school so I was juggling two jobs, my schoolwork, and taking care of my pregnant wife all at the same time. I was getting so close to finishing school to start my dream job of becoming a firefighter. Then it happened, I finally graduated in May 2020, I received all of my fire certifications and my EMT card. I am now an official firefighter.
When I graduated from my school, I was hired at a firehouse. I was not home as much as I used to be, and this upset my wife. She knew I had to support us, but missed me when I was gone working my 12 to 24 hour shifts. After a month of working there, I was let go. I was out of work for three months, looking for other firehouses to apply to, another job to apply to, anything to still make money. I had to have my parents help us with food and rent, because I absolutely couldn’t find a job and we needed help. I finally found a part time job that paid me something, but it still was not enough. I worked there for about 2 months, but then something amazing happened. I found a firehouse to work at and it was a starting pay at $13 an hour. I put my two weeks in for my job I had and went and got the job at the firehouse. Now I can start supporting my family again and we wouldn’t struggle, also I would be able to spend more time with my wife.
However, this was not fully the case. You see, I had to work a lot in order for us to pay our rent and bills, and also for food. I was gone for 24 hour shifts straight, I would even be gone for 48 hour shifts because we absolutely needed the money. Around this time, my wife was 36 weeks. She was only 4 weeks away from her due date, we were not ready. We had nothing set up, no baby supplies, nothing. We had family members buy us things we needed, and had a small baby shower. We went to our local Goodwill to buy clothes for our baby. My wife had a third ultrasound. Her OBGYN told her Mason was going to be an above average size baby and scheduled an appointment for his estimated birth weight. She was not happy about the fact he could be a big baby because in her words “I do not want this kid to tear me open.”(this made me laugh) Turns out, Mason’s estimated birth weight was 6 or 7 pounds, give or take a pound. So this calmed her down.
I was working so much over the next 2 weeks, making sure we would have enough money for rent and for our other expenses. I came home one night and went to bed, then the next morning it happened. Her water broke. At 38 weeks, our son was ready to come out. I was kind of scared because it was happening, and I am going to see my son very soon. Well, I thought it was soon. My wife was in labor for 23 hours, during which I had to support her, walk her to the bathroom, hold her when she was scared and so much more. It was hard, and it hurt me to see her in so much pain. When she got her epidural, I was relieved to know she wasn’t feeling any more contractions so we both fell asleep. Then, the scariest moment happened.
