Communication is a skill that is crucial to people who want to have healthy social lives, love lives, and decent careers. Regardless of your gender, race or any other identifier, having effective communication is vital to maintaining any kind of relationship (friends, business, lovers, family, etc). We’ll review a little more on why communication is so important and some easy communication skills you can learn.
Why Is Communication Important?
Communication is one of those things that is quickly becoming a lost art, but that’s not a good thing. This is the primary way that you can express yourself. A good communicator can effectively ask for what they want, and also improve their chances of getting it. People who have the gift of gab are also seen as more popular and more attractive.
Getting what you want isn’t the only reason why people need to learn this skill. Good communication can also defuse situations where serious problems would otherwise occur. If you’ve ever had two friends who wouldn’t get along, you can help mediate differences between the two. Negotiating skills can also be marketable—i.e, customer service.
Cool Communication Skills You Can Learn With Ease
Talking is vital to being able to exist in society. So, let’s learn some cool skills that can help you become a better communicator, shall we?
Social Awareness
Growing up I was socially awkward and was that friend who didn’t know how to behave around people. I lacked a lot of natural social awareness growing up. Often, I would avoid social situations altogether. When I had to attend social events, I felt like I had to force myself to “perform.” However, I learned social awareness is a very important skill to have. It’s definitely not an easy skill to learn, because you have to really put yourself out there to get better at it but it’s worth it!
Social awareness is a communication skill that is focused on understanding social norms and how they play into the way you should behave. Among Gen Z, it’s known as “reading the room.” It’s showing that you have the ability to empathize with people who aren’t you.
When you’re in a new room, take time to sit back and observe everyone first. You’ll start to notice traits that help you understand what they value. Is everyone talking to each other? Or is everyone silent trying to watch something? If people are talking, does it seem like they’re serious? Or are they laughing? You also will be able to get a better idea of people around you. And, when you finally do talk to others, ask yourself how you would feel in their shoes. You would be surprised at how quick things “click.”
Accepting Feedback
When we go to school, we take tests that are graded by teachers. These tests are not there to make our lives miserable. They’re there to help us learn. Getting feedback from others can help you understand what you’re doing wrong in a social setting. Think of it as a way to “test” how you’re doing.
To learn how to communicate better, ask someone who you truly trust what you’re doing wrong. Or better yet, listen to what others say about people who behaved similarly. Don’t get defensive. It’s not an attack against you, but rather, the behavior that you display. Take it to heart, and you might see an improvement in understanding how you can work with people better.
Relating To Others
One of the easiest ways to bolster your ability to communicate with others is to empathize with them. As someone who’s struggled with this, I absolutely understand how hard it can be to stop seeing people as “the other.” In fact, it can even be downright mind-boggling to view some people as human.
This is where “communication relationship” gurus tend to rock. You can’t have a relationship with someone who you don’t relate to well. This is true for coworkers, and everyone else. When you’re dealing with a serious disconnect, it’s time to put yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself the following:
- If I were being approached by me in this way, how would I react? Sometimes, this alone is enough to make you realize what you’ve been doing wrong.
- How can I make myself more relatable to others? The other day, I learned a cool communication technique for asking someone. I found out that you are more likely to get a “yes” out of someone if you explain why you need them to give that to you. For example: “Pardon me, could you please let me cut in line? I’m not feeling well and need to lay down.”
- What is something that we both have in common? Even if that thing in common is hating the way the local bagel shop smells, it’s something you can build off. You would be surprised at how much easier it is to bond once you find stuff to do or discuss together.
- How can I turn my questions into something that can’t be answered in a single word reply? People don’t want to have questions that are all Y/N in nature. It stifles their ability to explain stuff and talk about themselves. It also makes them feel like you don’t care. It’s one of the oldest communication tips reporters are told.
Active Listening
Did you ever have a moment where you felt like people were just not listening to you? Maybe it was a moment where you could literally see them zoning out around you. Or you may have just felt like you were talking just so they could talk back to you. It’s aggravating, isn’t it? That’s why active listening is so important.
Active listening helps you learn about people. It’s about being an engaged listener, and asking followup questions. People love to talk about themselves, and learning about them is a good way to get a better connection with them. Next time you talk to someone, ask them questions about themselves, and follow up with additional questions based on their answers.
Improving Your Understanding Of Boundaries
Most people I meet these days have a hard time judging boundaries, which is a massive communication failure. This is especially true when it comes to guys who flirt with girls. Most of our society tends to assume that women will overtly say no when they don’t want a guy present—or that they are playing hard to get.
A lot of men (and women) have a hard time figuring out where they stand with people. One of the easiest ways to figure out where you stand is to let others take the lead. For example, if you aren’t sure whether a girl is interested in you, let her show interest by letting her be touchy-feely first. If you aren’t sure, there’s also nothing wrong with asking people what’s up. Better yet, you can also just ask for permission.
To a point, this is one of those communication relationship tips that can help you avoid some serious accusations. After all, crossing certain boundaries can be considered a form of assault. (You can thank me later.)
The Bottom Line
If you are looking for a way to improve your communication, the easiest way to do it is to listen to what others are saying and doing. Observe them, and if you can, take a little feedback. As long as you make an effort to become a better communicator and keep yourself practiced, you should be able to see an improvement.
With that said, no one becomes a crazy effective communication guru overnight. It’s going to take some practice.
